Pico's Corner 3

Random Thought for the Masses

"15% of the population has enough of a mental disorder to abduct someone off the street. And then there's the question of whether or not one's Abductor is 'hardcore' or if they're just your typical 'garden-variety Psychotic'..... I'm what they call a 'mix' between your typical garden-variety Psychotic, and those who are more Hardcore. Guess I'm a Hardcore Garden-Variety Psychotic. Which is far better than being.. say.. a Psychosomatic asinine hawk that flies backwards on Tuesdays and Fridays At 5:19pm while pondering questions relating to the hypotenuse of a circular Triangle on crack."

Why We Need BNL

Lotsa Reasons Why BNL Would Be Good For The Country As Well As Other Interesting Facts

 

1.  The people on welfare could afford prewrapped sausages, but not

prewrapped bacon.

2.  All citizens would be forced to build tree house in their yard. 

They'd be used to count the census.

3.  The Chairman of the Arts would be a Garfunkel.  He'd be assisted by the corpse of Picasso.

4.  The dating game would be set in two time frames:  Before the West was won, and before the fall of Rome.

5.  Lies would not be spoken, but written down and put inside of giant shoe boxes, which would be available to the general public thanks to the freedom of information act.

6.  Base salary for all employed citizens: $1,000,000.

7.  People would be required to use candles to light up their rooms.

8.  We'd all be required to cock our heads to the side when saying we were sorry.

9.  All dirty old men named Hank would be legally required to wear straw hats.

10. Citizens would be brainwashed into driving downtown at 9:40 on a

Tuesday night, just to check out the late-night record shop.

11. All apartments would be the same distance from the street: 42 stairs.

12. All office towers would be the same distance from the street:  9.8 feet straight down.

13. We'd all thank our hairdressers for giving us such beautiful curls.

14. We'd all listen to the same music and fall in the same quicksand (might get crowded after a while, and the stereos would most likely get all mucky and not play).

15. Stalking would be legalized, and we'd all follow each other wherever we go.

16. Our lives wouldn't be remembered by photos, but instead by Box Sets.